Wednesday, August 19, 2009

[08.19.09] * what to do when the world turns on you

Why is it that life always seems to be so unfair?! I work so hard at work, giving it everything I've got, and for what, just a huge slap in the face?

If I could change one thing about my past, it would be trusting people. People who I thought were my friends, only to later find out that they just talk shit about me behind my back. Why would I ever think that you can trust teenager girls to be decent human beings? Even though we only work together, and we are not the greatest of friends, heck, I don't even really like any of them, I still would like some respect. I do not appreciate people talking smack about me, and then pretending to like me when I'm around. If I don't like you, I will tell you straight up, none of this evil, backstabbing bologna that I seem to be putting up with every day.

And even though I don't really like them, it still really hurts to be called a bitch, and hear about how much someone hates you..
Regardless of who it is, it is so painful.

I've tried so hard to get along with everyone, to avoid this, but I guess it just wasn't good enough. I guess I never really had any friends... Which is why it hurts so much.

I just need to get out of this place, get away from small town where everyone knows everyone, and move on. Meet different people.

But until then, is it possible to move on? Is it possible to just completely ignore what people say, and go on with your daily life?
It seems to be a very difficult task, one that I don't think I can do, not alone.

And people wonder why I am depressed and sad all of the time... go figure!

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