I don't even know if that is the right form of "bare"
SO.
Today I worked an eleven hour shift, which is awesome because it gave me little time to eat. In and out of the water for 6 hours, burned LOTS of calories and didn't take any in. It was great. I felt great.
I had a bottle of water with a thing mixed in.. it is a jamieson electrolyte plus vitamin c thing. I have about one a day. I also take herbal diuretics to help with water weight. I don't know if they work, but there is something about taking them that eases my mind. I guess it feels like I am doing something.
All that I had to eat today was:
10 medium size red grapes
10 small size green grapes
4 small strawberries
I'm still feeling good, I guess I am running on adrenaline, and the fact that I am PUMPED I get to move out in 14 days!
While I was at Uni last year, it was so easy to hide my ED. It was awesome. I over-exercised, and no one told me to stop.
I am really looking forward to getting my freedom back!
--- wish I could update more, but I am being called to the vehicle. We are going to a family reunion thing, and I'm not allowed to bring my computer {no internet, anyways}. SO I guess I will be updating my thinspo book until I get back. Hopefully food will be easily avoidable!
I will be back to blog on Sunday, hopefully. or Monday. Depending on weather and how much "fun" we are having.
Think Thin.
Starve On.
I have read your blog and I feel your pain - on so many levels. It makes me so sad that your ED is so strong and still controlling your life. I have had my ED for 8 years and it has been hell, yet at the same time it was my best friend. I have been through treatment program after treatment program seen shrinks and theripists and nothing ever worked, I just needed my ED felt it was my identity, my safe zone, my guard..but recently I went away to Homewood, a treatment facility in Guelph, Canada ...it really helped me to actually gain control over my life - not the control my ED had me believing was "control"..I urge you to reach out and talk to someone, even if I could be of help, feel free to check out my blog iamhollywood1989.blogspot.com - I really believe you can beat this, or at least have a better control over ED instead of it having control over you, remember - you are only punishing yourself by giving in and you are worth the fight!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a great day :) And I know what you mean about the diuretics-- I'd call them an "addiction", but I don't feel nearly as pressed to use them if I've stayed under my calorie limit.
ReplyDeleteAnd perhaps this is just my Computer of Fail, but your font is really difficult to read-- the bold comes through just fine, but the regular Courier is almost impossible to read. It's not a big deal, just thought you might want to know :)