Monday, August 24, 2009

[08.24.09] * im backk

Here I am, back from my weekend away with the famjam.
Surprisingly it went a LOT better than I expected.
But we will get to that later..

First of all, thank you to those who have commented and started “following” me. I more or less wanted to have a blog to organize my thoughts and sort out my feelings. But having people comment on my posts, I know that I’m not alone, and I love that no one seems to judge on here. Just to give help and support where it is needed. So, thanks!

Second, I received a comment that my font is hard to read.. so, I am going to try a different one. It looks fine on my computer, but maybe it is because I have a Mac and am using Safari or Firefox (whichever I feel like at the moment). So hopefully it is better, if not, let me know! If you guys are taking the time to read my entries, I will make sure that I made them readable.

As for my weekend away, I did a lot better than I thought I was going to. We went to the family cottage at the beach. It was decently fun, and super easy to hide my eating, or in my case, my non eating.

My cousins and I went for so many walks on the beach, just hanging around outside. My parents occasionally asked if I was hungry at all, and I would say “No, I have just been picking away at stuff all day” and they were cool with that. They have been seeing me eat a lot lately, and think that everything is fine with my ED. They don’t know that I turned back on the road of anorexia last September. They think that I have been doing great since I have been out of treatment. I wish I were OK, but I just need thin SO BAD!
But anyways, back on track here – I “ate” dinner with my favourite cousin (who is ED-NOS, but started out bulimic). So she understands me, and I didn’t eat dinner.

I ate around 200cals Saturday, and 150 on Sunday.

I keep fighting the urge to eat.
I find that keeping a thinspo diary/book (full of quotes and pictures) helps to keep me motivated.
Also, I have been trying the elastic on the wrist to “snap” away cravings. It helps sometimes.. not so good with pizza cravings and chocolate cravings – my two ULTIMATE weaknesses!

Hope everyone is doing well and reaching your goals!
Think thin. Starve on!


  1. Wow-- I'm surprised sometimes by how... clueless? Apathetic? parents can be. It's almost as if... if you're still walking around, they don't want to consider the possibility that you might not be perfectly OK.

    And I didn't mean for the font thing to be a big deal-- but thanks, this is a LOT easier to read :) I'm on a Mac / Firefox too, so perhaps I'm just blind?

    Chocolate cravings are the worst, but it sounds like you're doing great :)

  2. I'm so glad I found your blog!
    I find it very inspirational and I can't wait for your next update.

    Good luck, girlie.
    I'm fasting, too. Let's get so skinny we blow every bitch out of the water.